How to Help Someone With Depression: Practical Steps and What to Say

01Signs

Signs someone may be depressed

• Seeming persistently sad, low, irritable or numb.
• Losing interest in things they used to enjoy.
• Withdrawing from friends and family.
• Changes in sleep or appetite.
• Tiredness and lack of energy.
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
• Talking about feeling worthless, guilty or hopeless.
• Drinking more or using drugs.
• Talking about death or suicide.

02Start

How to start the conversation

• Choose a private, calm moment.
• Say what you have noticed: “You’ve seemed really down lately, and I’m worried about you.”
• Ask open questions: “How have you been feeling?”
• Listen more than you talk.
• Accept what they say without arguing or minimising.
• Let them know you care and want to help.
• If they are not ready to talk, let them know you will be there later.

03Say

Helpful things to say

• “I’m here for you.”
• “You’re not alone in this.”
• “It’s not your fault.”
• “Depression is an illness, and it can be treated.”
• “What would help right now?”
• “Would you like me to help you make an appointment?”

04Avoid

What not to say

• “Snap out of it” or “Just cheer up.”
• “Other people have it worse.”
• “It’s all in your head.”
• “You just need to think positively.”
• Avoid giving lots of advice or comparing their experience to yours.
• Avoid getting angry if they cannot do things they used to.

05Help

Encouraging professional help

Gently encourage the person to speak to a doctor or contact a talking therapy service. You could offer to help them find information, make an appointment, or go with them. NICE guidance on depression describes treatments such as guided self-help, behavioural activation, cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling, exercise programmes and antidepressants, depending on severity and preference. If they are already in treatment, encourage them to keep going, even when progress feels slow.

06Practical

Practical support

• Help with shopping, cooking or household tasks.
• Offer lifts to appointments.
• Invite them for short walks or low-pressure activities.
• Help them keep a routine for meals and sleep.
• Keep inviting them, even if they often say no.
• Celebrate small steps.

07Suicide

If you are worried about suicide

Warning signs include talking about wanting to die or being a burden, giving away possessions, saying goodbye, searching for ways to end their life, sudden calm after a period of depression, or increased drinking or drug use. It is okay to ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Research shows that asking does not increase risk and can be a relief. If they say yes, stay with them, remove access to means if safe to do so, and get urgent help.

08Training

Learning how to help

Mental Health First Aid and similar courses teach people how to recognise signs of mental health problems and offer initial support. A systematic review and meta-analysis found that this training improved knowledge, reduced stigma and increased confidence and intentions to help, with smaller effects on the amount of help actually given. Learning about depression also helps you understand what your loved one is going through; our guide to anhedonia explains loss of interest and pleasure.

09Yourself

Looking after yourself

• Supporting someone with depression can be exhausting.
• Set boundaries and share the load with others.
• Make time for your own interests, rest and friendships.
• Talk to someone about how you feel.
• Seek support for yourself if you feel low or overwhelmed.
• Our guide to caregiver stress may help.

10Specific

Supporting different people

• A partner: keep communication open, share household tasks, and consider couples support.
• A teenager: stay calm, listen, and involve their school and doctor.
• An older parent: watch for isolation and physical health issues, and help them access services.
• A colleague: check in privately and point them to workplace support.

11Distance

Supporting someone from a distance

• Send regular, short messages that do not need a long reply.
• Schedule video calls at a regular time.
• Send a card, book or small care package.
• Help them find local services or online therapy options.
• Ask if there is someone nearby who can check in on them.
• If you are worried about their immediate safety, contact emergency services where they live.

12Summary

Key points to remember

• Listen without judging and show you care.
• Encourage professional help and offer practical support.
• Ask directly if you are worried about suicide.
• Look after your own wellbeing too.